How do you apologize when you hurt someone?

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"Does 'sorry' make any difference? It's just a word. One word against a thousand verbs."

- Sarah

After a stressful year as the coronavirus disrupted our lives, everyone's nerves are understandably frayed. Whether you are dealing with pandemic-related difficulties or other concerns, you may have had instances when you weren't feeling very well. You may have some relationships - with relatives, friends, partners, colleagues - that need discussion and reconciliation. So figuring out how to apologize is helpful. No matter who's at fault, sometimes nothing calms hostility faster than saying "I'm sorry," but spoiling your apology can make things worse. Saying "I'm sorry" is only the beginning. To make a good apology, we'll see some steps to take to make things right.

How do you apologize when you hurt someone
How do you apologize when you hurt someone

1. Listen carefully before rushing to apologize

Sometimes a quick apology makes sense. Suppose you are in the market and you bump into someone; It doesn't take much to say "sorry" and help them fix anything damaged in the crash. But on more complicated matters, rushing to an insincere apology can be a hasty. So what should you do instead? First, calmly ask what is happening to understand how the other person is feeling, then shut up and listen, even if it is uncomfortable.

Active listening - which involves making eye contact or making it clear that you are fully attentive and really focused on what the other person is saying, really helps you understand the impact of your mistakes.

 Using this method, you can make your apology more specific, honest, and effective. You can confirm what you heard from the other person and ask clarifying questions as necessary. It also helps you prevent the same mistake from happening again.

2. Prepare your apology in advance when possible

Not everyone communicates the same way. If you want someone you've offended to forgive you, reach out to them according to their safety space, whether that's in person, on the phone, via message, Skype, Zoom, FaceTime, or other multimedia. 

In order to achieve the effectiveness of the apology, it is advisable to prepare in advance. If your apology is in writing, it may help to show the draft to someone you trust before sending it. If it's personal, write your apology first to organize and correct your thoughts. And while forgiveness isn't foolproof, this small step can help smooth things over.

3. Be specific and specific in your apology

Saying you're sorry isn't always enough. If someone takes the time to explain how your behavior has hurt them, you can take advantage of this by expressing your regret, explaining why the damage occurred, and expressing your desire to repair the damage.

After you explain yourself, the key is to confirm that you understand your offense to the person (which should be clear if you're really listening) and then explain how you'll avoid making the same mistake in the future. For example, if someone is upset that you didn't answer their calls, you could say, "I'm sorry I didn't answer. I've been working overtime, but that doesn't mean anything bad. 

You're important to me, and I understand how my actions caused you." your frustration. In the future, I will text you ASAP to let you know when I am not at liberty to call.”

It's also okay if you can't explain why the damage occurred. But if you have no idea why, admit it. Just acknowledging the truth about things can help repair the relationship.

4. Try not to turn your apology into a discussion

"I'm sorry if I hurt you" or "I'm sorry, but I didn't think you'd mind" can distort your apology and make the person you hurt feel bad. Suspicion of hurting someone means that you do not take responsibility for what you did. But be careful not to be contradictory and be honest.

It's also tempting to turn your apology into an opportunity to relive old grievances. But it's important to remember that it will mess things up even more and that an apology is not a discussion but a conversation that often involves prioritizing the other's feelings, so make sure you're not using an apology to focus on yourself.

5. Remember that actions are truer than words

Despite the eloquent verbal remorse, actions may best repair the damage.

So try to find a solution to deal with any harm you caused. 

6. Be patient after you apologize

Repairing a relationship may require repeated attempts and rejection. And in some religions there is a teaching that you must make a sincere apology three times. 

If it is not accepted, the ruthless person must apologize for the intolerance. The lesson is that you should do your best to compensate even when full reconciliation is not guaranteed. 

7. Remember that it is never too late to ask for forgiveness

Sometimes people leave our lives before we know how to apologize, or things become so controversial that an apology is no longer possible. If you're struggling to better make up for the hurt you've caused or if you're in a situation where nothing can be done, don't bury those feelings inside of you.

Instead, discuss your problem with a relative, mentor, or someone whose judgment you trust. They may be able to help you come to terms with your intolerance. They may even help you repair the relationship.

A sincere apology for your mistakes is a sign of strength of character. Remember that if you are really sincere in your apology, the person you have wronged will most likely forgive you, because they will truly understand your remorse. But even so, try not to hurt your loved ones and not take their closeness for granted. Be grateful for your relationships and you'll be more considerate of not hurting them.

We hope this article was useful.

Do you know any other effective steps to apologizing? Share with us in the comments

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