In a previous article I wrote on Abu Al-Nawas, and with intense immersion in contemplating his poems and his philosophy of life, I stood and meditated a lot on his famous saying: (Leave my blame on you, for blaming is a temptation... and I think about its meaning and implications, and when I finished the article and pushed it For publication, my preoccupation with the poet's philosophy and the second part of his house is gone.
But the first part, for a mysterious reason that I did not understand, remained present in my mind. Why are we so fed up of blame? Why does the blame insist on sticking to what is being blamed for?
Abu Al-Nawas made me stop at the meaning of blame for a long time, and think carefully about its connotations, goals and levels, and the reasons and motives that incite us against it, and the conditions for choosing this behavior and its considerations , or refraining from it, or our feeling of being obligated to it, and when should we be blamed? And from? Then it became clear to me from observing myself first, and secondly from the observation of those around me, that although we do not use the word blame often in our conversation, it is a common case in our behavior towards others, as well as in the behavior of others towards us. We blame without telling others that we blame them, and sometimes without even realizing it.
Why then do we blame so much?!
From the last question, psychologists tend to consider blame as a behavior that arises from an unconscious defensive mechanism, whose goal is related to protecting our image of ourselves, or our resistance to a state of guilt sometimes, and the legislation to deny responsibility for us and evade from bearing it, and even hold it - often without right - on the blame itself.
The goals of this subconscious mechanism may develop into more complex cases, such as harboring hostility towards the other, some resort to expressing it in a polite manner that does not violate the standards of society. But it may sometimes turn into a psychological disorder that hinders communication with others around us, and destroys the system of social relations and its structures, whether those we establish within the institution of the family, work or friendship.
He overlooks it, but it is mostly nothing more than that some find it easy to blame the other whenever and however he wants. (Why are you angry at the word of truth?). In fact, what will anger us at that time is not the truth, but the falsehood that the blamers dress up in the guise of truth.
Blame is the hidden equivalent of scolding or reprimanding, and the counter-reaction to advice or guidance and direction. When we advise someone (and I am not in general with a lot of advice) we seek to persuade him not to do an act that we do not see as good, or to persuade him to stop doing the same thing after he has done it.
Therefore, the basis of advice is persuasion, but the blame comes late after the occurrence of the act, and it does not aim at advice or persuasion, but rather criminalization and accountability, and it may reach the point of punishment, such as depriving the blamed of a benefit, or isolating him, defaming him, or boycotting him.
The characteristics of blame from this behavioral perspective, which is based on its intersection with reprimand and its opposition to advice, is a major reason that calls us to be alert when we blame, to beware of excessive blaming, and to be aware of what may ruin it or lead to its destruction. The blade is in the body, so it injures, hurts and damages...and sometimes kills. Therefore, the use of this dangerous tool and a lot of it will cause us to cause harm and pain to others, and soon the results of this harm and its complications will be reflected on us.
In fact... the blame does not stop at the limits of the individual's behavior and his relationship with others around him, and is not limited to mere partial life situations, but may go beyond that to become a collective behavior that transcends individuality and its parts, and is directed by an unspecified group to another group like it, such as the blame directed by the newer generations to the generations that preceded them.
Especially when the actions of previous generations are still present and influential, as if we, the Arabs, blame our ancestors when they lost the Arab civilization and did not preserve it. Because of them, we became third world countries after we occupied the top spot in the world, and this blame is false and undoubtedly, because any civilization must It decays after it flourishes, and this is what Ibn Khaldun, the philosopher of civilization and urbanism, referred to in his important introduction to the life of civilizations.
I will mention one type of common blame, for its gravity and the gravity of its negative effects on all of us, individuals and societies. I mean here the discourse of blame spread widely on the mouths of some preachers, who, in every event, calamity, distress, or crisis affecting an individual or society, rush to exaggerate the blame coupled with the accusation of committing sins and abandoning religion, and then deserving God’s wrath, according to their claim.
If the rain is scarce, they say because of sins, and I do not know how they explain what happens in some parts of the earth where rain does not stop throughout the year. And if an earthquake occurs, a volcano erupts, or a tsunami appears, they refer that to God’s wrath on everyone and His revenge on them, and if a person is affected by poverty or disease, they consider that because of his weak faith or bad Islam, even if they do not see anything from the work of this poor or sick person as evidence of his shortcomings.
Enough guesswork and guesswork. Although I do not deny reward and punishment and God’s judgment with them, whether in this world or after death, I believe that this method is one of the implicit faiths that is accepted with complete acceptance, and it cannot be addressed with this simplification that some preachers are trying to convince us of. What is dangerous in all of the matter is that the discourse of this type of blame perpetuates the permanent and illusory feeling of guilt, feeds the origin of religious fanaticism and extremism, replaces intimidation with encouragement, and makes challenging people’s faith and belief, and sometimes their infidelity, a ready accusation that is easy to release, and it is difficult to acquit them.
It is no secret to anyone how much this broad accusation has claimed the lives of innocents who were deprived of the right to life without their own guilt, but rather just because of pure suspicion and a generalized accusation. What is dangerous in all of the matter is that the discourse of this type of blame perpetuates the permanent and illusory feeling of guilt, feeds the origin of religious fanaticism and extremism, replaces intimidation with encouragement, and makes challenging people’s faith and belief, and sometimes their infidelity, a ready accusation that is easy to release, and it is difficult to acquit them.
It is no secret to anyone how much this broad accusation has claimed the lives of innocents who were deprived of the right to life without their own guilt, but rather just because of pure suspicion and a generalized accusation. What is dangerous in the whole matter is that the discourse of this kind of censure perpetuates the permanent and illusory feeling of guilt, feeds the origin of religious fanaticism and extremism, replaces intimidation with encouragement, and makes challenging people’s faith and belief, and sometimes their infidelity, a ready accusation that is easy to release, and it is difficult to acquit them.
It is no secret to anyone how much this broad accusation has claimed the lives of innocent people who were deprived of the right to life without a sin they committed, but rather just by pure suspicion and generalized accusation.
On the other hand, blame should not always be examined and its value calibrated from the perspective of generalization. Blame is a tool that applies - as well as other tools - the criterion of misuse or benevolence in it. Assigning blame, such as time, place, position, and purpose. Accordingly, Stephen Feynman asserts in his book “The Blame Industry” that blame is not always a bad thing, it may be the beginning of raising injustice or injustice, or it serves as a warning to issues that should not be overlooked, or it may put the powerful, companies, governments and abusers, under accountability. Without it, the essence of law and committed citizenship is lost. And if we cannot blame or blame, then legality has no meaning.” That is why Feynman believes that blame will not, and should not, disappear.
Feynman concludes by contrast that the problem with blame is not the blame itself, but the twisting and abuse of it, especially when it is used as a political tool to secure power or gain power; or used to defame a national, race, gender, religion or ethnicity.
Too much of it often leads to the destruction of marriage, the termination of friendships, and the division of nations. As I said before, blame is not bad in itself, but also, in Feynman's opinion, can be an "inexhaustible source of bad faith."
Blame may have begun with humans as a disciplined and specific method for expressing feelings of regret, anger or disappointment, but human development in general, which was accompanied by human development of his methods as well, transformed blame from just a method of expression into a tool, then the tool evolved into an institution in itself, added to the rest Institutions governing organizational and social behavior that are many times more complex today than they were several centuries ago.
In our time, the "blame institution" has become an important part of the communication mechanisms between multiple parties: individuals, groups, political parties, local and international bodies and organizations, countries and societies...etc.
This was reflected in the goals for which the blame falls, as it is no longer just a kind of severe reproach or reprimand, but goes beyond that to become part of the mechanisms of punishment, opposition and accountability, and a tool for pressure, changing attitudes, and bearing the consequences of mistakes on those who must bear them, in order to demand their correction. Insisting on blaming has in many cases corrected mistakes and changed reality for the better.
But this development in perpetuating the institution of blame has also led to its misuse in several areas. I will stand on one area of which has become part of our culture, which is the spread of blame in the Arab political discourse, which has been accompanied since the last century with the losses suffered by some political systems militarily, diplomatically and economically.
Instead of politicians and leaders bearing their responsibilities towards these losses and acknowledging failure as the beginning of correction, on the contrary, they blamed others and blamed them for the causes and consequences, and exonerated themselves and their entourage. or refer to it.
It is laughable in this regard as well, that blame has become the method of political interaction between some Arab countries and their neighbors, once accusing them of cutting off their resources, and at other times accusing them of fomenting unrest on their borders, or interfering in their internal affairs.
I do not want to give examples of that, because if I do, I will probably mention more than half of these countries, which not only resort to blame in dealing with their external affairs, but also internal ones, so you see leaders blaming their people for the spread of corruption and nepotism, or accusing their inaction as a reason for Failure of government plans and low productivity. More dangerous than this and that is that some governments accuse their citizens of treason and conspiracy with the foreigner, to legitimize themselves to silence mouths, monopolize power and eliminate attempts at reform and change for the better.
All these manifestations of blame reveal a structural defect in the Arab political practice, and show how it has not yet lived up to the level of political behavior based on transparency, frankness and justice. These politicians have forgotten that peoples do not conspire or betray, but rather they are trying to regain the rights of their citizens after their politicians neglected them, either because of their corruption or because of their tyranny that covers their failure in leadership and administration.
Finally.. God swore in Surat Al-Qiyamah with the blameworthy soul, which interpreters unanimously agreed that it is the voice of the inner conscience that prompts the believer to hold himself accountable for his shortcomings and mistakes, and motivates him to piety and sincerity in intention and action.
And if self-blame is a good quality, then what is right for a person to be between himself and himself may not be right also between him and others. Therefore, the best way to avoid falling into blame and its consequences may be to examine the reason for our desire well before blaming the other.
On the other hand, since doing the command in “Leave my blame on you” involves firmness and severity in the request by leaving this trait and abandoning it, it will not make the situation better than it is, rather blaming will only make the matter worse and make things worse, because it is the key to stubbornness, clinging to opinion, fanaticism to the situation and resorting to refuge.
To refuse and resist ...